id be glad to
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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