Just cropdusted the office
Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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