So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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