So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
