Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have post one night stand depression
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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