I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
