Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
