you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
