i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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