I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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