his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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