Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
