He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
