It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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