Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
