omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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