Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize