i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
