Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
