It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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