Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize