He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
