What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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