Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
