The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize