it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
