lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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