i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
