Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So squirting runs in the family.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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