I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
