She announced her abortion via fbk
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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