i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
