Are we in a gay sports bar?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
