Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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