I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
