some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
