Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
