dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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