Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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