Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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