News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
