The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
