roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
