She's JV to your varsity
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
