Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
