I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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