Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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