Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
