We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
