I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
