I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize