Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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