I will die if light touches me.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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