Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
