I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
