I smell stomach acid.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
