And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Randomize
