the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Michael Bay diarrhea
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
