Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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