So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
