your thong is hanging out like whoa
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
