So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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