yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize