We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
