We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
