is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
