It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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