we're blogging at a bar
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
